The monsters within

It didn’t creep up on me some evening when I was alone. It didn’t suddenly feel different one day when I woke up. It has always been a part of me.

It sparks up with the thought of pain, like that is what really keeps us alive. I stopped fighting it when I realized that is the only time I can feel my heart beating. Anger feeds it, makes it grow. Now I feel less than what I was before. It turns me into a different person, thirsty for blood. It makes me want to embrace a warm body then rip it apart with my bare hands as it feeds on the pain in their eyes.

It follows me like a shadow everywhere I go, since when did it become so powerful? There were always a few lapses for a few minutes at most, but now it’s got a tight grip around my mind and doesn’t seem to let go. It’s scary still it makes me feel powerful like I’m actually in control. But it really is getting out of hand, I no longer seem to think straight anymore.

Is a single person or just one incident enough to bring that out in you? Or can it be the result of a lifetime of bottled up emotions. Too late to be asking questions now anyhow. For the dormant monsters are now awake and whatever I do they decide.